One Thousand Winters
by Carbon Insolence
Summary: Albus loves Scorpius. He also loves his brother. He can't have both and the day he has to choose between the two is fast approaching.


_**Authors Note:**__** So what I should be doing is updating my other stories and not starting a new one but I had sudden inspiration okay so I did this instead. I'm actually quite proud of how it turned out so I'm glad I did it. I'm not sure what else I'm going to do with this story, but I'll definitely update at some point.**_

_**Warning**__**: Incest (lots of it), angst, alcohol, some more angst. It's just that sort of story.**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** I don't own Harry Potter.**_

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One: Silent Night

"_What's the difference between love and obsession? Didn't both make you stay up all night, wandering the streets, a victim of your own imagination, your own heartbeat? Didn't you fall into both, headfirst into quicksand? Wasn't every man in love a fool and every woman a slave?_

_Love was like rain: it turned to ice, or it disappeared. Now you saw it, now you couldn't find it no matter how hard you might search. Love evaporated, obsession was realer; it hurt, like a pin in your bottom, a stone in your shoe. A morning phone call filled with regret. A letter that said 'Dear you, goodbye from me'. Obsession tasted like something familiar. Something you'd known your whole life. It settled and lurked; it stayed with you."_

_- Alice Hoffman, The Ice Queen_

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The loathing James felt towards Scorpius Malfoy was an all-consuming sort of loathing. When he was around he was all James could think of. He hated absolutely everything about him.

James watched as Scorpius exited the train at platform nine and three quarters, ready for the Christmas holidays. He curled his hands into fists as he took his brothers hand affectionately and comfortably, as though he knew Albus was all his and nothing was going to change that.

The next couple of minutes were a blur as he watched Albus laugh at something Scorpius said and pull him in for a goodbye kiss. They would see each other again at Christmas when Scorpius came round to the Potter's house. It was a chaste kiss and James felt his mother sigh next to him.

'They're so cute,' she said to his father. 'They go so well together.'

It made James' blood boil.

There was a simple reason for James' loathing of Scorpius. He wanted to be in his position. He wanted people to think it was normal when he took Albus' hands. He wanted people to be happy for him when he kissed his brother. He wanted people to want his relationship with his brother to last for ever. He wanted people to be happy for them.

He didn't want Scorpius to be able to touch his brother the way only he should be able to. He didn't want Albus to let Scorpius kiss him and hold him, and fuck him in the same way he let James.

He didn't want Scorpius to be able to call Albus his boyfriend when he would only be able to settle for brother.

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'I don't want you to see him again,' James whispers into Albus' ear.

It's the dead of night. At this hour everything is silent and it feels like nothing else in the world exists apart from the two brothers who are lying naked in the afterglow of sex, curled up, limbs tangled together, in the middle of a bed that seems slightly too large. The covers are twisted around them, not really covering anything but neither of them cares. The room's too warm anyway and both of them like to be able to run their hand across the others skin and watch the way the light from the moon, which is reflected of the snow, bathes the other.

James hears an intake of breath and Albus is silent for a couple of seconds. 'You can't ask that James,' he says quietly. He sounds tired and worn out.

James feels something inside of him drop and for a moment everything stops and all he can listen to is the silence of the rest of the house.

He presses his lips into Albus' neck. 'I can,' he says. It comes out as a whine. 'I can. I want you for myself.'

James is aware of how desperate he sounds but he doesn't care. He is desperate.

Albus draws James' face towards his and presses a light kiss to his lips. 'You have me Jamie,' he whispers. 'I love you more than I ever should. But you can't ask me to stop seeing him. People would suspect us then.'

James holds Albus tighter, flush against his body as though he might be taken away from him if he lets go even for a second.

'This is my final year of Hogwarts. I'm not coming back,' James says. 'I won't be around to make sure… to make sure…'

He trails of and Albus frowns at him. 'To make sure what?' he asks running his thumb across James lips, reassuring him.

James shakes his head. 'It doesn't matter.'

'Of course it does love,' Albus breaths trailing his fingers down James' abdomen. Albus can feel the way James has stiffened, like he's scared of something. 'Everything you say matters.'

'To make sure you don't fall in love with him.'

Albus' fingers halt suddenly and James clutches him even tighter.

_Please,_ he wants to say. _It kills me when I see you with him, smiling at him the way you should be smiling at me._

'It's always going to be you Jamie,' Albus murmurs. 'Just you.'

There's a part of James that doesn't believe Albus, but he lets him feather kisses further and further down his chest anyway. When Albus' lips reach their destination James' eyes roll back and he lets out a little gasp, forgetting all his worries for just a little while.

It's Christmas Eve and everything is silent in the Potter household apart from James soft mews.

It's snowing outside and a storm is coming.

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_**Authors Note:**__** Any feedback you had I would love. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Are there some horrendous grammar/spelling errors that I've overlooked? (I do that quite often) I'm not sure where I'm going with this story so I'm just going to take it one chapter at a time.**_


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